I am definitely not a fan of boxing. In fact, I do not watch any type of sport unless it's the only thing I can watch on TV. I have not even watched any of the live feeds for Manny.
2 years, 8 titles, 8 levels through different divisions (don't ask me what those divisions are). Today, I believe he is one of the richest men in the Philippines. But how did it all start. I've been on Wikipedia and it gives a very brief background on Manny's life as a kid. How he had to fend for himself at 14 because his mother could not really care for him due to poverty.
But now that he is famous the whole world looks up to him and none other than his countrymen. Even his mom is interviewed during the evening news and weekend afternoon shows. From nobodies to somebodies. If every person who has gone through the same experiences they had could be as lucky as they were then we'd probably all welcome poverty and hardships wholeheartedly. Good luck with that thought.
Just yesterday, there was news that Manny's uncle was a suspect in the murder of a neigbor from Manny's hometown of South Cotobato. The family of the victim are looking to Manny to help them solve the issue.
I guess that would be the mindset here in the Philippines. If you don't have tons and tons of cash you could just be like the trees no one really stops by to admire. But have moolah regardless of who you were before then you'd probably be a magnet for news reporters and whoever.
Yup, I'd like tons of cash..hahaha. Who doesn't right? But I'd like to be a magnet for books rather. I'd like a whole house of books. Anways, that was just a thought I had a while ago.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
She Said/He Said
on 9/20/2010
Hi Rich,
I have been conditioning myself to providing closure. It is not as easy as I thought it was. I sent an email to him. It was unbelievably painful doing it. I cried so hard. Now, I know why some people just feel they've lost it all and commit suicide. The one thing I kept on repeating to myself as I was writing was - it's not the end of the world.
Rich, have you ever felt this way? kind of empty? So hollow, so sad. I'll be okay.
As far as serious and loving relationships go, I have always just wanted someone who would really be happy being with me and vice versa. I have not lost my faith in long distance relationships. But at some point, after being together for quite some time, I think one or the other has to spend a bit of time with the other.
I just googled about internet traffic and now I know a bit about it :) It does sound interesting. I like the fact that you love your job. A lot of people don't. I like mine. I just don't love it :) But I do take it seriously.
The Philippines is a 5th world country where 1 out of every 3 people are poor. As you know, the call center business has been booming offshore. Working in a company that can give double or triple the required basic pay has helped a lot of Filipinos, myself included. But we are only a minority. People need good communication skills to be in this business. I am lucky only because I grew up speaking English and started speaking in Tagalog when I was in college.
Being rich is not a qualification I look for. Men who say outright that they are are dubious characters. So you don't need to worry.
It is nice to know you are sensitive too. I am. I know when a person is happy, angry, irritated, afraid, or even doubtful by just observing body nuances, voice patterns, quickness of breath etc. It's taken years of observation for me to do that. And that is so lacking in a lot of people.
Filipinos are naturally shy people. Most will not tell you how they feel. As for me, it depends on the time, place and who I'm talking to. As you can tell now, I am quite at ease with you.
I do like the lyrics you sent from Celine Dion (yes, I am familiar with her and a whole lot of other singers like Justin Bieber...hahaha).
No one is always right. And it does take courage and grace to be humble enough to admit it.
What about my life and my world do you want to know? Can you tell me about yours too?
I'll probably be in the office around 4 pm my time as I have a deadline to meet. Plus, we will have some clients over.
-Marie
Hi Rich,
I have been conditioning myself to providing closure. It is not as easy as I thought it was. I sent an email to him. It was unbelievably painful doing it. I cried so hard. Now, I know why some people just feel they've lost it all and commit suicide. The one thing I kept on repeating to myself as I was writing was - it's not the end of the world.
Rich, have you ever felt this way? kind of empty? So hollow, so sad. I'll be okay.
As far as serious and loving relationships go, I have always just wanted someone who would really be happy being with me and vice versa. I have not lost my faith in long distance relationships. But at some point, after being together for quite some time, I think one or the other has to spend a bit of time with the other.
I just googled about internet traffic and now I know a bit about it :) It does sound interesting. I like the fact that you love your job. A lot of people don't. I like mine. I just don't love it :) But I do take it seriously.
The Philippines is a 5th world country where 1 out of every 3 people are poor. As you know, the call center business has been booming offshore. Working in a company that can give double or triple the required basic pay has helped a lot of Filipinos, myself included. But we are only a minority. People need good communication skills to be in this business. I am lucky only because I grew up speaking English and started speaking in Tagalog when I was in college.
Being rich is not a qualification I look for. Men who say outright that they are are dubious characters. So you don't need to worry.
It is nice to know you are sensitive too. I am. I know when a person is happy, angry, irritated, afraid, or even doubtful by just observing body nuances, voice patterns, quickness of breath etc. It's taken years of observation for me to do that. And that is so lacking in a lot of people.
Filipinos are naturally shy people. Most will not tell you how they feel. As for me, it depends on the time, place and who I'm talking to. As you can tell now, I am quite at ease with you.
I do like the lyrics you sent from Celine Dion (yes, I am familiar with her and a whole lot of other singers like Justin Bieber...hahaha).
No one is always right. And it does take courage and grace to be humble enough to admit it.
What about my life and my world do you want to know? Can you tell me about yours too?
I'll probably be in the office around 4 pm my time as I have a deadline to meet. Plus, we will have some clients over.
-Marie
He Said/She Said
On 9/20/2010
Hi again
It would appear as if we have been through many similar experiences. I do know the pain you are talking about and I think that's why I feel as if I can speak so openly to you because you will understand how I feel and know that I understand you. There may be many miles between us and no physical or visual connection but I truly believe that there are wavelengths that people can communicate on that can be felt despite the time, space, distance obstacles and have nothing to do with internet connections. You already know that I am the kind of person that you can feel comfortable with just like you have known for a long while that things can no longer be with your boyfriend. We have a hard time admitting that to ourselves sometimes because that is not what we want or want to hear but we can feel deep down what is true and already know.
I feel that this is going to be a new start for both of us, the turning of a new page and an exciting time to discover a whole new future that up to now we have only dreamed about and hoped for.
I agree with you that long distance relationships can work but I wouldn't want it to be like that. I don't mind getting to know you this way but I would want to chat to you and maybe call you too. I would want and need contact but before all that I would need to trust you and know that you trusted me - that there was something that we both felt and knew existed already between us that we could and would both want to build on. I want a best friend, soul mate, lover, partner in all things - nothing less than total commitment one to the other on which we could build a lifetime relationship and a family unity on this solid foundation. At that point I would need to be with you and so would have to come visit and have you come here too. Then we would decide where we wanted to live and that would be a decision that we would come to together for the best interest of the relationship. Taking into account the needs of each one.
Compromise, communication and a sincere deep love for the other would be essential or we would have nothing. That's how I see things progressing if I ever find a person via these means. How do you feel about that? I think that early on there has to be a sense of commitment that can be built upon or else you have nothing, just a string of empty promises that lead to nothing but disappointment, hurt and sadness. Love is about joy and happiness even through the hard times there should always be the feeling of joy that we have someone to share those hard times with, someone that truly loves us.
I think that you should be so sure of the man's love for you that the possibility of him hurting you couldn't even exist in your mind - which is not the case today and you know that. I am so sorry that you hurt and wish that I could help you in some way with the mixed emotions that you must feel. All I can say is that I do understand, I have felt that way and the hurt does go away. It takes time but it goes. And you will meet someone because of these experiences that you have had that will be very special to you and you will recognise it almost immediately. I don't know how but you will just know that from that point on things were going to be different. You'll just feel it and know.
When you get that feeling you must give yourself the chance to live again and be happy and grab hold of it with both hands. The past is the past, now is now and this is the day that we start our future and it can be anything we want it to be.
You will know that you are loved because the person will put you first and in return you will put him first - and that self less relationship
is rare but it will come your way - of that I am sure.
As for me, I'm a pretty relaxed, laid back kind of person that is looking for that one special person to make me feel complete. The person I need like the air that I breath. I want to love and be loved and have fun.
I think what I would like to know is, have you been married before, have you been divorced, do you have children, are you Christian, and how do you feel about holding hands and kissing in public?
Have a great day - I'll be thinking about you hoping you'll be OK.
Are you ready for a new start? Or.......do you want to dwell in the past for a little while longer?
Rich
Hi again
It would appear as if we have been through many similar experiences. I do know the pain you are talking about and I think that's why I feel as if I can speak so openly to you because you will understand how I feel and know that I understand you. There may be many miles between us and no physical or visual connection but I truly believe that there are wavelengths that people can communicate on that can be felt despite the time, space, distance obstacles and have nothing to do with internet connections. You already know that I am the kind of person that you can feel comfortable with just like you have known for a long while that things can no longer be with your boyfriend. We have a hard time admitting that to ourselves sometimes because that is not what we want or want to hear but we can feel deep down what is true and already know.
I feel that this is going to be a new start for both of us, the turning of a new page and an exciting time to discover a whole new future that up to now we have only dreamed about and hoped for.
I agree with you that long distance relationships can work but I wouldn't want it to be like that. I don't mind getting to know you this way but I would want to chat to you and maybe call you too. I would want and need contact but before all that I would need to trust you and know that you trusted me - that there was something that we both felt and knew existed already between us that we could and would both want to build on. I want a best friend, soul mate, lover, partner in all things - nothing less than total commitment one to the other on which we could build a lifetime relationship and a family unity on this solid foundation. At that point I would need to be with you and so would have to come visit and have you come here too. Then we would decide where we wanted to live and that would be a decision that we would come to together for the best interest of the relationship. Taking into account the needs of each one.
Compromise, communication and a sincere deep love for the other would be essential or we would have nothing. That's how I see things progressing if I ever find a person via these means. How do you feel about that? I think that early on there has to be a sense of commitment that can be built upon or else you have nothing, just a string of empty promises that lead to nothing but disappointment, hurt and sadness. Love is about joy and happiness even through the hard times there should always be the feeling of joy that we have someone to share those hard times with, someone that truly loves us.
I think that you should be so sure of the man's love for you that the possibility of him hurting you couldn't even exist in your mind - which is not the case today and you know that. I am so sorry that you hurt and wish that I could help you in some way with the mixed emotions that you must feel. All I can say is that I do understand, I have felt that way and the hurt does go away. It takes time but it goes. And you will meet someone because of these experiences that you have had that will be very special to you and you will recognise it almost immediately. I don't know how but you will just know that from that point on things were going to be different. You'll just feel it and know.
When you get that feeling you must give yourself the chance to live again and be happy and grab hold of it with both hands. The past is the past, now is now and this is the day that we start our future and it can be anything we want it to be.
You will know that you are loved because the person will put you first and in return you will put him first - and that self less relationship
is rare but it will come your way - of that I am sure.
As for me, I'm a pretty relaxed, laid back kind of person that is looking for that one special person to make me feel complete. The person I need like the air that I breath. I want to love and be loved and have fun.
I think what I would like to know is, have you been married before, have you been divorced, do you have children, are you Christian, and how do you feel about holding hands and kissing in public?
Have a great day - I'll be thinking about you hoping you'll be OK.
Are you ready for a new start? Or.......do you want to dwell in the past for a little while longer?
Rich
He Said/She Said
On 9/19/2010
Hey Marie,
I think that maybe it's time for the hurt and pain to stop and for you to find some genuine man that wouldn't hurt you for the world. One that does what he says he will and one that enjoys talking to you and being with you as much after two or twenty years as he did the first times you started talking to him. You deserve someone that just doesn't feel complete if he's not with you and who become so much a part of your world and a part of you that not being with him just doesn't feel right. It should never be something you are prepared to accept or put up with.
If you can't get closure you need to give it. You have a life to live and maybe there is a man out there just waiting for you to be available to develop a relationship with. I think you need to take control and allow yourself to open up to new horizons and brand new adventures.
As for me, I work on line. I run internet businesses and like to think of myself as a traffic expert for web site traffic - I don't think that is totally true yet but I know that soon I will be considered as an expert by my peers. I enjoy/love my work because it's something I can do anywhere I am in the world. I have always been or worked in business or finance and have worked for banks as an international private client advisor and also as a consultant for international corporate creation and funding.
I am not rich - I have made many mistakes in my life and been, like you, through much pain - but I am a strong person for it and I NEVER give up. I know what I want and what is good for me and as long as it's good for others too I will do what needs to be done.
I am very sensitive to the needs of others and am willing to talk about anything to the one I trust. I really want to know you more and hope that you too feel that you can share things with me. I won't play games and I will always be honest.
I think you are on the verge of a brand new future and a wonderful adventure. I don't know if you like Celine Dion but you make me think of this song.
Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.
You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,
But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?
What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There’s nothing like love to pull you up,
When you’re laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.
What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
Don’t know much about your life
And I don’t know much about your world.
I hope that I can be a part of that adventure and that you look forward to it as much as I do. I also hope that you don't think I'm being too forward. I am not one to play games as I said and I say things as I see them. I am notch always right but I am not ashamed of the way I feel or afraid to express it.
I look forward to getting to know the real you.
Rich
Hey Marie,
I think that maybe it's time for the hurt and pain to stop and for you to find some genuine man that wouldn't hurt you for the world. One that does what he says he will and one that enjoys talking to you and being with you as much after two or twenty years as he did the first times you started talking to him. You deserve someone that just doesn't feel complete if he's not with you and who become so much a part of your world and a part of you that not being with him just doesn't feel right. It should never be something you are prepared to accept or put up with.
If you can't get closure you need to give it. You have a life to live and maybe there is a man out there just waiting for you to be available to develop a relationship with. I think you need to take control and allow yourself to open up to new horizons and brand new adventures.
As for me, I work on line. I run internet businesses and like to think of myself as a traffic expert for web site traffic - I don't think that is totally true yet but I know that soon I will be considered as an expert by my peers. I enjoy/love my work because it's something I can do anywhere I am in the world. I have always been or worked in business or finance and have worked for banks as an international private client advisor and also as a consultant for international corporate creation and funding.
I am not rich - I have made many mistakes in my life and been, like you, through much pain - but I am a strong person for it and I NEVER give up. I know what I want and what is good for me and as long as it's good for others too I will do what needs to be done.
I am very sensitive to the needs of others and am willing to talk about anything to the one I trust. I really want to know you more and hope that you too feel that you can share things with me. I won't play games and I will always be honest.
I think you are on the verge of a brand new future and a wonderful adventure. I don't know if you like Celine Dion but you make me think of this song.
Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.
You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,
But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?
What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There’s nothing like love to pull you up,
When you’re laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.
What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
Don’t know much about your life
And I don’t know much about your world.
I hope that I can be a part of that adventure and that you look forward to it as much as I do. I also hope that you don't think I'm being too forward. I am not one to play games as I said and I say things as I see them. I am notch always right but I am not ashamed of the way I feel or afraid to express it.
I look forward to getting to know the real you.
Rich
She Said/He Said
Hi Rich,
I appreciate your honesty and no, I definitely don't think you are speaking out of turn. I have held on for so long,
I've had high hopes, always thinking and feeling that everything would turn out okay. Hurt and pain is part of a learning
process. I've had a lot of it growing up but it's always made me a better and stronger person.
Closure may never come as you said and I accept it.
You can always write me here. I use this email too when I'm in the office unlike the dating site which I can only open
at home. I'm in the office Mondays thru Fridays 10pm to 7 my time. My schedules are bound to change depending
on what I need to do. I work as a Training and Quality team lead for one of the call centers here.
I would also like to get to know you more - what you do, what your likes are, your interests, your dislikes.
You can probably talk to me about anything under the sun. I am pretty quiet at times and I like to think
about a lot of things. But sensible conversation always perks me up.
Take care,
Marie
I appreciate your honesty and no, I definitely don't think you are speaking out of turn. I have held on for so long,
I've had high hopes, always thinking and feeling that everything would turn out okay. Hurt and pain is part of a learning
process. I've had a lot of it growing up but it's always made me a better and stronger person.
Closure may never come as you said and I accept it.
You can always write me here. I use this email too when I'm in the office unlike the dating site which I can only open
at home. I'm in the office Mondays thru Fridays 10pm to 7 my time. My schedules are bound to change depending
on what I need to do. I work as a Training and Quality team lead for one of the call centers here.
I would also like to get to know you more - what you do, what your likes are, your interests, your dislikes.
You can probably talk to me about anything under the sun. I am pretty quiet at times and I like to think
about a lot of things. But sensible conversation always perks me up.
Take care,
Marie
Sunday, July 4, 2010
A few Of the Countless Reasons I am Thankful I am alive and am Thankful for What I Have...
"When each day is the same as the next; it's because people fail to recognize the good things that hapen in their lives every day that the sun rises."
-The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho
What is the measure of success? Is it the amount of money we have? Is it the level of power we can wield? Is it measured by the vast acres of land one owns? Have we ever thought that success could also be measured by the number of hearts we've touched, kind words that are multiplied a million times over?
If there were reasons for us to feel discontented, I'd say they'd be countless. There would be countless reasons for us to pity ourselves but then we do have countless blessings too.
"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."
- Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
I am totally guilty of this. I need to be reminded from time to time that I am just like anyone else, that I am not above the rest. I, like everyone else, have dreams too but I must not let my dreams get to my head; so much so that I trod on other people's feelings. So let me count a few of the countless blessings that I have for these are what keep my feet firmly on the ground.
I am alive. I get up every morning (or night) and I breathe freely without pain and breathe in fresh air. I know that some no longer wake but rather have gone silently into the night. So I am thankful that I live one more day to share with others the blessings I have.
I breathe fresh air. At times, I breathe in the pollution but then it is nothing compared to what others breathe in. I have seen people living on top of dumpsites and who smell the stench and breathe in the fumes of garbage and other biological wastes. I am thankful that I do not live near a chemical factory and breathe in the cancer inducing fumes.
I have a home. I am thankful I come home to a warm, clean and safe house. That I do not have to worry about where to stay for the night; that I do not have to shield myself from heavy downpours and that I am safe from any criminal element. I am thankful that I come home to people I love and who I love in return because other people do not have this luxury.
I have a bed. I am thankful I have a big and comfortable bed with clean smelling sheets and pillows to ease my aching muscles and creaking bones. I have seen how many lie on the cold, hard, and wet pavement.
I have a kitchen. I am thankful because this only means that I can at anytime cook good food. That I can partake of nourishment and lavish on myself and the people I love, delicacies that many will never get to have in a lifetime. I am thankful that I do not go hungry dear Lord and I know that many go to bed without food and worse die of hunger.
I have clean water. I am thankful that aside from the food I eat, I can drink pure and refreshing water. In some places dear Lord, I know that drought reigns the land, that the fields are parched, that there is not even a single drop of water to relieve the thirst of many.
I have friends and family. I am truly thankful dear Lord that I have people who love and support me; that they are with me through thick and thin; that I am entertained and that I have true friends too who hold my hand and guide me along the right path.
I have work. I am truly thankful for this especially now when the rate of unemployment has risen. I am thankful I earn my keep and am able to enjoy life. Teach me Dearest Lord to always be humble; that I continue to pursue my dreams and yet keep my feet on the ground. For as I am elevated in other people's eyes, it is nothing compared to the tremendous power You have over the universe. I am but an instrument of your goodness and kindness. Remind me Dear Lord that pride always goes before a fall.
I undergo trials and tribulations. I am thankful because only through these will my faith and trust in You be strengthened. When I am out of funds, when my boss is disappointed, when things at work do not go the way I want them to - I am still thankful because it is only Your way of showing me that nothing can be done without Your help.
I am whole in mind, body and spirit. I know of people who have lost limbs, who are sick with schizophrenia or Alzeimer's disease and other disorders. When I am stressed I am thankful that my problems are too small to drive me completely insane. When at times I feel lazy and have to walk to work - I am thankful that I can still do so. I am thankful Dear Lord for the inner strength you have given, for the fortitude to do what is right. I am thankful that I can still hope. Where others have become hopeless, where their spirits have failed, I know my spirit relies only on You.
I am thankful that I still have something even if I think I have almost nothing. Dear Lord, you have always provided for me. I may not have seen it before but I admit I was wrong and that You have been with me through the years, protecting me, providing for me, and guiding me. Let me never think that material things are the bane of my existence.
I have many more to be thankful about. In fact, countless reasons why I should never stop thanking you Dear Lord.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Blackie - my Dog (July 2000 - December 8, 2002)
There is nothing as painful for a pet lover than the death of a pet. Seven years has passed since he passed away yet when I think of him, he lives strong in my memory as if he were still alive.
Blackie the dog's (as I also had Blackie the cat) life is more than memorable as I was able to experience first hand, the growth of a dog who lived in fear but who was willing to come out of his shell and live life again.
Blackie came to me in June 2002 by accident. I never meant to have him. But I guess you could call it a criss crossing of paths that I have never regretted. Michelle, a childhood friend of mine had an uncle who had scores of dogs. I think he had about 8 of them and could barely take care of them so he had them in cages or tied up.
Blackie was a handful actually and so he approached Michelle to ask if she could take charge of him. Michelle was hesitant. But I was there and volunteered right off to care for him. It wasn't love at first sight mind you. Blackie looked malnourished even if he had a big appetite. He also distrusted people. I think he spent most of his life tied up thus, he didn't really like to be handled more than necessary.
I was out of school and out of work at the time and thought I had all the time in the world to get to know him. I had no grand plans for him. My self imposed rule is that I never chain my pets or keep them in a cage. As long as they live with me, they are free to roam the house and use all that are available to them (like my furniture).
The first 3 months with Blackie were excruciating. Neither of us knew what the other would do. He was like a wild dog so I had to chain him to one of the posts outside our apartment. I hated it and it pained me to do so. But it was either that or he would have bitten all my other pets. Between Michelle and I - we had about 2 dogs and 5 or 6 other cats. He went wild when it was mealtime, straining on his chain and barking ferociously so I did not even try to get too near him lest he bite me.
But patience does have its fruits. During those first few weeks I would push his dog dishes towards him with a stick. By the 3rd week, I felt it was time for him to learn who his boss really was so I talked to him, calming him when he would strain against his chain trying to grab his dog dish. I was okay with getting nearer to him as I could. At the time, I thought that I could bear a dog bite better than not having a dog trust me. When he had calmed down reasonably then I handed him his dish, setting it down right in front of him without a stick. Battle #1 won!
By the 3rd week, he had gotten used to seeing me around him so I could now untie his chain and take him for walks. He was rowdy at first just like any human I think would be after being in seclusion for so long. We must have been a sight as he pulled me this way and that. But I was stronger than him not just physically but because something inside me just didn't want to give up.
The second challenge was for me to bathe him. During the first 2 weeks, giving him a bath was a big chore nonetheless as he got me all wet with his hyperactiveness. I was glad he never thought to take a chunk out of my hand. To prevent him from drenching me too much I preferred to point the end of the garden hose at his body.
By the 3rd week he was less rowdy and allowed me to clean his ears, pick at any ticks and brush his fur. His meals were personally mine to serve. I had made it my job to hand feed him his kibbles..a kibble at a time, a bit of trust after another. Soon he was eating out of my hand with ease and always nosed my hand for more.
I was ready for the next stage. Trust, they say is something you earn. After all the daily walks, grooming and feeding we did, I was ready. Next step was for me to untie him. This I did every night. After his baths and walks during the day, nights were freedom time for him. I remember the first time I let him go. He still stood close to the post as if he were tied. I had to give him a gentle push to let him know he was free. After realizing that he was, he ran furiously to the field near our apartment. I let him have his way. For the first time, I swear I saw him smile. He was happily running and exploring all the nooks and crannies he could - under rocks, under wherever - he wanted to take in all of it. That was the happiest day of my life as a dog caregiver. I say a dog caregiver as I believe that pets choose who they want to be with. They are our blessings more than they are trouble.
When there was no longer any light, I called for him to come home - and he did. He was happily wagging his tail as he came home and waited for me to chain him to the post. He wasn't ready for my next treat. I decided he could stay in the house but only in my room. So every night thereafter - he went straight to my room to his place under my bed.
I think after those 3 excruciating months, Blackie finally figured out that I was there to care for him and to love him. His days of being a prisoner were over. He loved being under my bed at night. His morning routine from his 4th month with me was to wake me up at around 7 am by licking my hand. This was as much a reward for me as a morning romp outside was for him. By that time, he was open to my carresses, offered his neck for a rub and especially loved it when I talked to him just like I did all of my other pets.
I no longer needed to chain him nor did he go after any of my other pets. He still didn't socialize with them but would rather just be in one corner of the house. I was okay with it. By October I was going to school for special classes. I would leave all my pets at home including Blackie. Afternoons at 4 was happy time for all. I came home to a house full of animals wagging their tails, crying for my attention, crying for their food, excited for me to take them out for a walk, excited for their baths or their grooming time. This was a routine I loved.
I was at home by 4pm, took Greg and Cop for a romp outside for at least half an hour, took the cats outside too while Blackie stayed home to wait, prepared their dinner and served it, got out their hair brushes, brushed and took out their ticks. What more could a pet ever want? Last was always Blackie. Most of my energy was reserved for him as I spent more time with him during his walks, I sometimes played hide and seek with him, dinner was served separately and grooming was the most special time of the day for me. It was my time not just to keep him clean but it was also my time to talk to him and praise him for being a good dog. Weekends was bath time for all including the cats.
By November, Blackie had settled in comfortably. He was still scared of meeting people and didn't like it if there was a stranger (other friends) in the house. December 7 is a day I will never forget. I came home as usual from school. For some reason, Blackie was outside the apartment waiting for me. The moment he glimpsed me through the gated fence of the compound, he could not contain himself. For the first time, he vigorously wagged his tail, jumped up and down just like my other dogs, greeted me with such a big smile. I couldn't put my finger in it then but only figured it out what it really meant a day or 2 after. How was I to know it was going to be his first and last time to do that. We had a great time that evening as he was hesitant to go home and still wanted to play "catch me if you can" out in the field. But it was getting really dark.
I came home from school the next day anticipating the next joyful homecoming with him. It was Friday or a Saturday I think. On my way in to the compound, a neighbor tells me, 'hey, your black dog is inside.' I said, 'thanks." Imagine my surprise when he brought my precious Blackie outside carrying him by his tail. That's when it struck me he was dead. A hit and run accident my neighbor said.
A dog is still a dog they say. But how can I make people understand the pain you experience when a dog close to your heart dies. I had a lot of pets who passed away and had never before grieved as much as I did when Blackie died. I spent 2 weeks crying. Every corner of the house reminded me of him. Night time was the worst. I woke up expecting him to lick my hand the way he did every single day but of course no dog did. I kept thinking to myself what it was that made him different. Was it because we were just about to enter that phase in which I believe our souls would be entwined?
In almost 6 months he had changed so much more than a person will ever change in a lifetime. He was open to trust, he was open to love and loved in return. It only takes a few words of comfort, a loving touch for a dog to forgive. In his eyes, I saw a wealth of forgiveness. I believe that his passing was instantaneous and that the only memories he had was a joyful romp in the fields, endless games of "catch me if you can" a bowl full of kibbles, and a warm bed under mine. He is smiling down I am sure in doggy heaven. That is the picture of him I hold in my heart, a happy dog, wagging his tail ferociously because he is just that - happy.
*** I was never able to take a picture of him. But the picture above is the closest I can get of him.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Musings on the Road not Taken by Robert Frost
This poem has always been one of my favorites. More so now that the underlying message holds true value for me. I was in 4th year High School. I can still recall how Mrs. Mary Anne Eala (everyone's fave English Teacher) nurtured our love of literature.
*****************************************
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
*************************************
This has a lot of significance for me because that's what I did. I took the road less travelled. In this culture where most would rather stay at home and enjoy the comforts of having free food, free lodging, etc. I chose to live on my own at 21. 13 years later, I still have no regrets. It has not always been easy.
When I look back at how difficult it was and how I had to rely on my friends for help I cannot help but be humbled. This is what keeps me content. When at times I feel that I need more, that I am discontented with my lot in life, I look back to the time I left home with almost nothing except my clothes, my bit of cash and no idea of where to stay. Stubborness does have its rewards. If I would be given the chance, I would have done it all over again.
*****************************************
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
*************************************
This has a lot of significance for me because that's what I did. I took the road less travelled. In this culture where most would rather stay at home and enjoy the comforts of having free food, free lodging, etc. I chose to live on my own at 21. 13 years later, I still have no regrets. It has not always been easy.
When I look back at how difficult it was and how I had to rely on my friends for help I cannot help but be humbled. This is what keeps me content. When at times I feel that I need more, that I am discontented with my lot in life, I look back to the time I left home with almost nothing except my clothes, my bit of cash and no idea of where to stay. Stubborness does have its rewards. If I would be given the chance, I would have done it all over again.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Heat-Shangri-la Edsa Manila
Talk about a good way to spend our Christmas bonus. This is what my friends and I did on December 19, 2009. We treated ourselves to the sumptuous buffet offered by Heat, Shangri-la Edsa Manila. Heat offers a range of Asian and Continental dishes that vary from time to time. Below are just a few of the dishes that were offered.
Main Dishes:
Beer-battered deep-fried Seabass served with Caper and Gherkin Mayonnaise Salmon Fillet with choice of Garlic Mash and Steamed Rice, Local Greens and Bearnaise, Pepper or Red Wine sauce)
Nasi Goring; Spicy Rice with Prawns, Chicken Satay topped with fried egg.
Dessert:
Mango Crepe, Vanilla Pod Sabayon
Chocolate Mudcake, White Chocolate Spear
HEAT’s Cheesecake, Fresh Mango, Raspberry Sauce
We talked over copious amounts of seafood, pasta and other Filipino dishes. In order to savor all the dishes, one has to pace oneself. So we had dinner over 3 hours and still we were not able to consume all that was served.
I especially liked the crabs and shrimp. Being allergic to seafood it was a temptation I could not resist. I was in an “enjoy now and pay later” mode. The dimsum and sushi stations were a constant for me. I had to keep on going back for a bit of sushi or dumpling together with other food I wanted to sample. For the price of about 1,450 pesos I really have to say this was a very good deal. Needless to say, I had stuffed up on the main courses that I had almost no room for dessert. The only one I sampled wasn’t very good. I usually love mango and banana crepes topped with chocolate syrup but this time the crepes were too thick for my taste. It made my tummy even heavier than it already was.
Who am I to complain about the ambiance? It was perfect. The dimly lit restaurant was soothing to the eyes. Who would want to eat in a brightly lit place anyway right? And see you devouring your food like there was no tomorrow? No way! So if I were to rate this place, it would be:
Food: 4.5
Service : 4
Ambiance : 5
Value : 4
Overall Rating: 4
On Mary Poppins
I spent the few hours of my Sunday afternoon watching Mary Poppins. I had always loved this movie as a kid. Until now it still leaves me mesmerized by its magic and then the underlying lesson. I didn’t know until I did a bit of research that there were a series of books that were published in 1934, 1935, 1952 and 1962. I have not come across any book about it and would rather just watch the movie. In the earlier books, Mary Poppins was portrayed as a vain, stern and almost always cross. And who wouldn’t be if you were caring for 4 children. Aside from the rather unwanted attitude, the storyline is still the same in that Mary Poppins and the children go on countless adventures.
In 1964, the version of Mary Poppins starring Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke featured an adventure or episode from the earlier novels but portrayed a much kinder nanny.
I didn’t know whether to be sad or not. My neighbor’s kids usually spend Sunday afternoons with me and they did not enjoy the movie in the least. They were rather interested in playing on the computer and playing other games. So there I go thinking to myself just how much things have changed from before. I used to be very happy with a good book. A movie was a treat. But then that’s what happens with change. Everything is fast paced. The kids are so in to technology and by the time they are about 10 years old, blogging would be a thing of the past for them. So I will just content myself with my blog or so called journal. No worries. Sunday will go on and I will relax for the rest of the day.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Clan of the Cave Bear - Book Review by Jean Auel
I came across a comment for Jean's Clan of the Cave Bear where there were a lot of questions about the authenticity of the historical facts she had in the book. It surprised me as the spine of the book clearly states it's a work of fiction. So why all the negative comments?
Personally, I think this book and those that followed may not have done justice to historical facts but it did give light to a lot of facts that are still predominant in a lot of societies today. Like in the case of how most cultures view women and what their roles are in society. It is a beautiful story of one woman's survival to find her own niche.
This is a moving saga about people and relationships. Here, Jean takes as back to prehistoric times and sweeps us up in the story of Ayla. She is left orphaned at 5. Left wandering in search of her parents, she comes across the "clan". She is adopted by Iza, the clan's medicine woman and her brother Creb, the Mogur (Shaman). Though they try their best to teach her their ways, Ayla instinctively knows she is different. In the end of this first of five books, Ayla is banished; taken away from the people she has learned to love, taken away from her son. She must start her own journey to look for her kind.
I would give this book 5 stars for entertainment. It's a long read - 495 pages if you read the soft bound version. But it's definitely a page turner. Breath-taking and definitely entertaining.
Father's Day
A lot of advertisements for Father's Day have been out since a month ago. Some featured June 12. Others featured June 20. After a bit of research I finally figured out that we celebrate Father's Day on the 3rd Sunday of June - so that would be June 20 of this year.
I will not be able to let this day pass without mixed feelings for my dad. He passed away in May of 1998. I had just come home from school and was staying at a friend's house. Someone called to tell me my dad had just had a stroke and was in the hospital. I forget now who called me; whether it was my mom or one of my brothers I don't recall. But that isn't important.
Dad was a lot of things to me. I saw 2 sides of him no one ever saw. One side, the father who was caring, loving, doting, who loved to spend afternoons in the bookstore, loved watching movies, loved classical and jazz, and who loved an early dinner at Mcdonald's or Shakey's or wherever I wanted to eat. The other side, obsessive compulsive with neatness and order and cleanliness, manipulative.
He was very lenient towards me - me and my stubborn ways. I hated him telling me what to do. I was very precise with what he wanted. He bought my clothes. Taught me how to fold them in crisp orderly fashion where the shirts were organized in colors and sizes, my pants all hanging on one side of my cabinet, my shoes lined up like soldiers. Everything had it's place as he would often tell me and would frown if he saw something out of place.
My mom spent the afternoons playing Mahjong with her friends so he says, 'he took the responsibility of teaching me everything I needed to know' He was dead serious about it. The biggest fights I ever had with him were always about my wardrobe. He generally let me have my way with food as I wasn't fond of eating back in the day unless I had Mcdonald's. He dictated what books I read, friends I should be with and who I needed to see and talk with - So I was a kid who was not too good with friends as I knew what he wanted but made my own all the same. So we go back to my wardrobe. Everything had to fit me perfectly. No loose clothes. No tight ones either. Everything had to be ironed right down to my house clothes. He couldn't stand me in wrinkly clothes. He couldn't even stand tiny holes or minute threads sticking out at the seams. Those had to be cut. My clothes starched. If my clothes had a chance - they probably would have stood on their own. If my pants were a bit long, then he had them tailored. My socks had to be a certain length; not too short and not too long either or he had me fold them. So there I was a teenager folding her socks like I was a 3 year old going to a party. How I hated it when he inspected what I wore and hated myself even more for feeling like a turd because I followed what he said all the same. He was even more obsessive compulsive about my underwear. What bra size I wore, what kind of panties. It stressed me to no end. It was not until college that he kind of gave up on me.
Another thing I kind of learned from him was how to do my homework, my projects and to this day, how I organize my files. He was meticulous when it came to filing. All his bills were filed and each had a folder of its own. No paper was out of place. Paper that stuck out was like an eyesore for him so he would line and cut the paper to the precisely desired size. Doing my homework with him could be a torment at times. Everytime I had a project where I needed to cut stuff or write, he always had to dictate how it should be. It would be years later when I learned to cut paper without first having a ruler and lining it. Now, I can cut without worrying about cutting outside the lines or that a mm. of paper would be sticking out. Needless to say all these was stressful.
But at least out of all the "training" I got, he and I were still able to enjoy each other's company. When we weren't arguing or rather when he didn't need to stress a certain point, we kind of enjoyed the movies together. Almost every afternoon during the summers would be rewarding for me. I didn't have to think about my chores, about fixing stamps (that was my dad's past time), didn't have to worry about cleaning and arranging my closets, didn't have to worry about scrubbing the floors or the walls of my room. Movie time was fun time - especially if he slept through the entire thing.
Another thing I enjoyed was when he would take me out for an early dinner. I wasn't fond of eating really. If I didn't see food I didn't look for it unlike now. He was always worried I wasn't getting enough to eat. I guess I never really gained weight when I was in school because of my studies and other activities. So we ate almost anywhere but especially liked Mcdonald's (I am sick of it now) or any place that served Chinese or Japanese food. Sometimes he would feel extra generous especially if I had really good grades and would spend about 1 thousand to 1.5 thousand pesos in a fine dining restaurant. This was back in the early 90's. So that amount was pretty big.
So much so for my interaction with my dad. He was very hands on in many ways. Too much of it in the later years made me uncomfortable really.
One thing he did right was to let me go and allow me to live on my own at 21. After years of being with him - it was kind of a relief to finally be on my own and decide what I wanted to be. No regrets on my part to this day. Much of his training paid off. I no longer fold my clothes in the fashion he wanted me to. But all other else - I keep organized in an unstressful fashion. My house is not a pigsty (and never will look like one) but it is inviting. A little of mess, no dirt (If I can help it) and just looks like a home of any single woman (won't be one soon hopefully so ahem ahem Tom).
So a Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. I could go on and on about a lot of things and would probably fill this whole blog spot with stories of him. But that will come in time.
I will not be able to let this day pass without mixed feelings for my dad. He passed away in May of 1998. I had just come home from school and was staying at a friend's house. Someone called to tell me my dad had just had a stroke and was in the hospital. I forget now who called me; whether it was my mom or one of my brothers I don't recall. But that isn't important.
Dad was a lot of things to me. I saw 2 sides of him no one ever saw. One side, the father who was caring, loving, doting, who loved to spend afternoons in the bookstore, loved watching movies, loved classical and jazz, and who loved an early dinner at Mcdonald's or Shakey's or wherever I wanted to eat. The other side, obsessive compulsive with neatness and order and cleanliness, manipulative.
He was very lenient towards me - me and my stubborn ways. I hated him telling me what to do. I was very precise with what he wanted. He bought my clothes. Taught me how to fold them in crisp orderly fashion where the shirts were organized in colors and sizes, my pants all hanging on one side of my cabinet, my shoes lined up like soldiers. Everything had it's place as he would often tell me and would frown if he saw something out of place.
My mom spent the afternoons playing Mahjong with her friends so he says, 'he took the responsibility of teaching me everything I needed to know' He was dead serious about it. The biggest fights I ever had with him were always about my wardrobe. He generally let me have my way with food as I wasn't fond of eating back in the day unless I had Mcdonald's. He dictated what books I read, friends I should be with and who I needed to see and talk with - So I was a kid who was not too good with friends as I knew what he wanted but made my own all the same. So we go back to my wardrobe. Everything had to fit me perfectly. No loose clothes. No tight ones either. Everything had to be ironed right down to my house clothes. He couldn't stand me in wrinkly clothes. He couldn't even stand tiny holes or minute threads sticking out at the seams. Those had to be cut. My clothes starched. If my clothes had a chance - they probably would have stood on their own. If my pants were a bit long, then he had them tailored. My socks had to be a certain length; not too short and not too long either or he had me fold them. So there I was a teenager folding her socks like I was a 3 year old going to a party. How I hated it when he inspected what I wore and hated myself even more for feeling like a turd because I followed what he said all the same. He was even more obsessive compulsive about my underwear. What bra size I wore, what kind of panties. It stressed me to no end. It was not until college that he kind of gave up on me.
Another thing I kind of learned from him was how to do my homework, my projects and to this day, how I organize my files. He was meticulous when it came to filing. All his bills were filed and each had a folder of its own. No paper was out of place. Paper that stuck out was like an eyesore for him so he would line and cut the paper to the precisely desired size. Doing my homework with him could be a torment at times. Everytime I had a project where I needed to cut stuff or write, he always had to dictate how it should be. It would be years later when I learned to cut paper without first having a ruler and lining it. Now, I can cut without worrying about cutting outside the lines or that a mm. of paper would be sticking out. Needless to say all these was stressful.
But at least out of all the "training" I got, he and I were still able to enjoy each other's company. When we weren't arguing or rather when he didn't need to stress a certain point, we kind of enjoyed the movies together. Almost every afternoon during the summers would be rewarding for me. I didn't have to think about my chores, about fixing stamps (that was my dad's past time), didn't have to worry about cleaning and arranging my closets, didn't have to worry about scrubbing the floors or the walls of my room. Movie time was fun time - especially if he slept through the entire thing.
Another thing I enjoyed was when he would take me out for an early dinner. I wasn't fond of eating really. If I didn't see food I didn't look for it unlike now. He was always worried I wasn't getting enough to eat. I guess I never really gained weight when I was in school because of my studies and other activities. So we ate almost anywhere but especially liked Mcdonald's (I am sick of it now) or any place that served Chinese or Japanese food. Sometimes he would feel extra generous especially if I had really good grades and would spend about 1 thousand to 1.5 thousand pesos in a fine dining restaurant. This was back in the early 90's. So that amount was pretty big.
So much so for my interaction with my dad. He was very hands on in many ways. Too much of it in the later years made me uncomfortable really.
One thing he did right was to let me go and allow me to live on my own at 21. After years of being with him - it was kind of a relief to finally be on my own and decide what I wanted to be. No regrets on my part to this day. Much of his training paid off. I no longer fold my clothes in the fashion he wanted me to. But all other else - I keep organized in an unstressful fashion. My house is not a pigsty (and never will look like one) but it is inviting. A little of mess, no dirt (If I can help it) and just looks like a home of any single woman (won't be one soon hopefully so ahem ahem Tom).
So a Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. I could go on and on about a lot of things and would probably fill this whole blog spot with stories of him. But that will come in time.
I thought I was ready for a good night's sleep. Unfortunately, I had spent a good part of the afternoon and a few hours of my evening asleep plus I was thinking of a lot of stuff. New at blogging - yeah! So my mind has been a tumble of ideas which I hope I can write about as time goes on. Anways, this is my little room - all spic and span and actually boring. I am thinking of maybe changing this to a light lime green color or may be a shade of yellow that would fit perfectly with my zen interior.
I did a couple of hours or so of cleaning the windows, laundering the curtains and scrubbing and cleaning a portion of the floor. My idea of cleaning is literally getting down on my hands and knees and scrubbing the floors with soap and then wiping them clean. So it was down on my knees for those couple of so hours. But then with age comes the back pains so I decided to rest a bit. I am now feeling a bit sleepy so I won't really push myself. A few more hours anyways and it will be morning.
I came home at around 11:30 am today. I slept at the office for about 3 hours as I had no sleep the previous day. I didn't want to ride the bus going home and fall asleep only to wake up in some part of the city I wasn't familiar with. So to play safe, I slept off my fatigue first.
The sleeping quarters in the office is not exactly your haven of rest with comfortable beds, airconditioned room. We just moved to the new one about 3 weeks ago so everything is temporary. Our sleeping room looks like we were in the rescue center where the mattresses are strewn every which way and you get to sleep on one on a first come first serve basis. I count myself lucky because I always get one when I come in at the most opportune time - 3 am or 5 am. I still count myself lucky if I don't have someone else's feet beside my face when I wake up, or wake up because of someone else's snoring. So it's all good really.
There was nothing much else to do. I came home and was really thinking of helping Jessa to clean up the house, wipe the windows, clean my room and all. But it all just seemed too much. So I went straight to bed and woke up at around 9 pm. So much for a Saturday evening. But that is what weekends are for anyways right? Rest. So I guess I will put off the cleaning until tomorrow morning. This way I will refreshed. I will go back to bed again once I'm done with all the blogging.
I am quite new at this thing. I've never been one to enjoy blogging but I enjoy reading other people's blogs. But I guess this is a good way to keep things in a journal. I used to enjoy writing before and haven't had the time to do so. I normally write the old fashioned way. I think I had about 4 or 5 journals done when those got destroyed by last year's storm (Ondoy). So it made no sense to re write those..like I could remember all. I'm sure I've written many things down during my spur of the moment moods.
Nowadays, I wake up or go home and log in to Yahoo messenger to see if my honey is online - which he hasn't in about a week. I guess he is has difficulty again connecting to the internet. So I will try tomorrow.
Yesterday, Tita Nelie and I went shopping for stuff for my bathroom. I have a very small one by the way. Like 2 by 1.5 feet I think. I can just picture myself kissing the wall while I take a shower. It's a joke of course. But it still is very small for me. I guess I could compensate if I had a few of the comforts I should really see in a bathroom like a simple toilet seat with a very small toilet, a showerhead and all. Next project on my list is either my living room or dining room. I just hope I don't tire of the design in a short span of time as I will really save up to decorate my small space in the next few months. I am thinking of having a zen like design for my living room. At least, I really get to relax when I come home.
So I guess this is back to bed for me for now.
The sleeping quarters in the office is not exactly your haven of rest with comfortable beds, airconditioned room. We just moved to the new one about 3 weeks ago so everything is temporary. Our sleeping room looks like we were in the rescue center where the mattresses are strewn every which way and you get to sleep on one on a first come first serve basis. I count myself lucky because I always get one when I come in at the most opportune time - 3 am or 5 am. I still count myself lucky if I don't have someone else's feet beside my face when I wake up, or wake up because of someone else's snoring. So it's all good really.
There was nothing much else to do. I came home and was really thinking of helping Jessa to clean up the house, wipe the windows, clean my room and all. But it all just seemed too much. So I went straight to bed and woke up at around 9 pm. So much for a Saturday evening. But that is what weekends are for anyways right? Rest. So I guess I will put off the cleaning until tomorrow morning. This way I will refreshed. I will go back to bed again once I'm done with all the blogging.
I am quite new at this thing. I've never been one to enjoy blogging but I enjoy reading other people's blogs. But I guess this is a good way to keep things in a journal. I used to enjoy writing before and haven't had the time to do so. I normally write the old fashioned way. I think I had about 4 or 5 journals done when those got destroyed by last year's storm (Ondoy). So it made no sense to re write those..like I could remember all. I'm sure I've written many things down during my spur of the moment moods.
Nowadays, I wake up or go home and log in to Yahoo messenger to see if my honey is online - which he hasn't in about a week. I guess he is has difficulty again connecting to the internet. So I will try tomorrow.
Yesterday, Tita Nelie and I went shopping for stuff for my bathroom. I have a very small one by the way. Like 2 by 1.5 feet I think. I can just picture myself kissing the wall while I take a shower. It's a joke of course. But it still is very small for me. I guess I could compensate if I had a few of the comforts I should really see in a bathroom like a simple toilet seat with a very small toilet, a showerhead and all. Next project on my list is either my living room or dining room. I just hope I don't tire of the design in a short span of time as I will really save up to decorate my small space in the next few months. I am thinking of having a zen like design for my living room. At least, I really get to relax when I come home.
So I guess this is back to bed for me for now.
On Chardy...
Someone else's death is always something one can ponder about. The death of an older person is somehow always easier to accept than that of a younger person. So when I got a text message that Chardy had passed away on June 16, 2010, I was actually on a bus on my way home, I suddenly burst into tears. Previously, I received news that he was confined due to some complication to appendicitis.
My friends and I had never really had the chance to go visit him for a number of reasons. But the most difficult thing to accept was how young he was. He just turned 24 in May of this year. I will always remember him as a very jolly person.
My stint with him was back in 2008 when we were still working in Ameriprise. Me with the Brokerage Service recovery Group and he, with the Online Data Capture group. Our groups sat adjacent to each other. And our days were filled with a lot of laughs.
Needless to say, our jobs weren't the easiest. We worked like accountants, working to process cases, computing, analyzing and then computing again. All who work in this kind of job will have to agree that no matter how challenging a case may be, we could all be smitten by fatigue or just plain drowsiness as we worked the graveyard shift. But with Chardy, he made it easier for us with his jokes, his light banter on sex and anthing he could talk about under the sun. He had a very uplifting personality.
I've always been one to easily laugh at even the smallest things. Chardy did just that. He made me laugh, he made me smile. He made everyone happy. This is the way I will always remember him.
After a few months, we moved separate ways. But when I met up with his friends we would always mention something silly he did in passing. Just like the time he drank Clorox - I believe, because he was just simply tired of life. How could a happy person be tired of life?
I guess he had problems of his own just like everyone else did. But he hid it well. From the little that I knew of him, he was a very industrious person.
He worked very hard in school and did very well, got hired by our company, which wasn't the easiest to get into and even got assigned to our account - a financial one at that. And I guess he did well on his own. He did have a penchant for calling in late to work or unscheduled absences but he was never outright rude and definitely did not have an attitude problem. So it was just so sad that we lost him.
So here I go, thinking about my life and assessing it once again. I have my quirks, yes. I know I am not always all that my friends and workmates think me to be. But I am human. It makes me ponder about how fragile life really is and how one can be called to Him anytime.
I will soon be 34 years old. What else could I say for myself. Have I done enough good deeds. Have I made some people happy. I know I have hurt some people in the long run. And I hope to atone for those little by little - my mom, some of my other friends. I have to always work at being a better person.
So this is it Chardy. Thank you for making so many people happy. While I was talking to your mom yesterday, I could tell she was very very proud of you. You could not be anything less for her. You were perfect, just like any other mom will think of her son or daughter. But it was different for you. She recognized all your efforts to study really well. You were her hope. But most of all, you made her happy. I realized where you got your bubbly personality. It was from her. She was so easy to talk to. She made no qualms that she had money and at times would tell us how difficult it was to see you through, her doubts about paying your bills, where she would get the funds to pay all. But in the long run - God provided. So don't worry Chardy dear. I hope I will be able to help in my own way. People will help your parents I am sure of that.
So rest in peace my friend.
Someone else's death is always something one can ponder about. The death of an older person is somehow always easier to accept than that of a younger person. So when I got a text message that Chardy had passed away on June 16, 2010, I was actually on a bus on my way home, I suddenly burst into tears. Previously, I received news that he was confined due to some complication to appendicitis.
My friends and I had never really had the chance to go visit him for a number of reasons. But the most difficult thing to accept was how young he was. He just turned 24 in May of this year. I will always remember him as a very jolly person.
My stint with him was back in 2008 when we were still working in Ameriprise. Me with the Brokerage Service recovery Group and he, with the Online Data Capture group. Our groups sat adjacent to each other. And our days were filled with a lot of laughs.
Needless to say, our jobs weren't the easiest. We worked like accountants, working to process cases, computing, analyzing and then computing again. All who work in this kind of job will have to agree that no matter how challenging a case may be, we could all be smitten by fatigue or just plain drowsiness as we worked the graveyard shift. But with Chardy, he made it easier for us with his jokes, his light banter on sex and anthing he could talk about under the sun. He had a very uplifting personality.
I've always been one to easily laugh at even the smallest things. Chardy did just that. He made me laugh, he made me smile. He made everyone happy. This is the way I will always remember him.
After a few months, we moved separate ways. But when I met up with his friends we would always mention something silly he did in passing. Just like the time he drank Clorox - I believe, because he was just simply tired of life. How could a happy person be tired of life?
I guess he had problems of his own just like everyone else did. But he hid it well. From the little that I knew of him, he was a very industrious person.
He worked very hard in school and did very well, got hired by our company, which wasn't the easiest to get into and even got assigned to our account - a financial one at that. And I guess he did well on his own. He did have a penchant for calling in late to work or unscheduled absences but he was never outright rude and definitely did not have an attitude problem. So it was just so sad that we lost him.
So here I go, thinking about my life and assessing it once again. I have my quirks, yes. I know I am not always all that my friends and workmates think me to be. But I am human. It makes me ponder about how fragile life really is and how one can be called to Him anytime.
I will soon be 34 years old. What else could I say for myself. Have I done enough good deeds. Have I made some people happy. I know I have hurt some people in the long run. And I hope to atone for those little by little - my mom, some of my other friends. I have to always work at being a better person.
So this is it Chardy. Thank you for making so many people happy. While I was talking to your mom yesterday, I could tell she was very very proud of you. You could not be anything less for her. You were perfect, just like any other mom will think of her son or daughter. But it was different for you. She recognized all your efforts to study really well. You were her hope. But most of all, you made her happy. I realized where you got your bubbly personality. It was from her. She was so easy to talk to. She made no qualms that she had money and at times would tell us how difficult it was to see you through, her doubts about paying your bills, where she would get the funds to pay all. But in the long run - God provided. So don't worry Chardy dear. I hope I will be able to help in my own way. People will help your parents I am sure of that.
So rest in peace my friend.
Nothing beats the aweful summer heat in the Philippines than enjoying a weekend at a modest hotel with a swimming pool. That's what I just did on May 30-31, 2010. I had gone swimming about twice before and never really thought about buying a new swimming outfit. But being the let's just say the thrifty woman that I am, I thought it wouldn't hurt to wear the same outfit to yet my third swimming spree. Mind you! If I had a swimming pool in my home, I'd probably swim laps everyday. Laps? Not really.
I've always loved the water hence swimming. I am not even close to any average swimming athlete. I can barely even cross a 50 meter pool without stopping for a breath. But I never really cared. So much for the summers my parents enrolled me in swimming classes. The most I really got out of those was learning how to float on my back and to dog paddle. The only thing being important was to float.
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